Baby Fever
by KurlyQ722
Summary: In which Sam and Mercedes get to baby-making at the most inappropriate times, namely at Quinn's engagement party.


**O-O**

**Where are you? It's been like ten minutes. Please don't leave me alone with these rich white people….**

Sam ended his text with a sobbing emoji and sighed, fiddling with his bowtie as he eyed the bustling, upper-crust crowd around him with undisguised disdain. Despite his formal attire and well-coiffed hair, he still felt like a country hick ugly duckling amidst a sea of bejeweled, haughty swans. Hell, the swan ice sculpture in the middle of the lawn was _actually _decked out in diamond studs and pearl necklaces. He'd been staring at the thing since he'd been left alone, and could swear that its expression grew sterner and more disapproving of him as it melted. Creepy.

Though the engagement party was for her daughter, Quinn's mother had made it very clear that this was intended to be an affair that reflected her tastes. From the pricey hors d'oeuvres with names no one could pronounce or clearly identify to the cream-colored imported lawn chairs embossed with the Fabray family crest (who the hell even _had _a crest anymore? What were they, royalty?), the entire affair felt showy and completely overdone to be the 'small, intimate gathering' described on the invitations. Satin invitations sealed with wax and hand-delivered by footman, might he add.

Puck was probably off somewhere with his future bride, indulging in the free-flowing Pinot Noir and laughing at the pretense of it all. Her mother still hadn't fully accepted him as family, but Quinn was as strong-willed as she was beautiful, so the matriarch tried her hardest to make the best of an unchangeable situation. If he were allowed to drink, Sam would've probably joined them. But his own bride insisted that they stay sober, for the sake of their personal endeavors.

**I'm taking the test. Same time every day, remember? Please stay sober and try not to get into any trouble while I'm away. Killing the rich, white people is not allowed. LOL**

Sam chuckled at her reply, already feeling decidedly less alone.

**Depends on if I have a reason to stay sober and not go on a killing rampage. What did the test say? Should I be meeting you in the bathroom, Mrs. Evans?**

He smirked at his amusing winking emoji, then added several animated pulsating hearts behind it and waited with bated breath for her reply. He and Mercedes had made the decision to add to their family on their three year wedding anniversary, but after four unsuccessful months of trying to conceive the natural way, they decided to seek outside help. The doctors insisted that they were both healthy. Sam's sperm count was well within normal range and Mercedes had what the physician described as a 'welcoming, well-shaped uterus' and 'nicely thickened cervix', prime for conception. The comments were a little unsettling to hear from another man's mouth, especially when he said them during her pelvic exam. Sam almost yanked the doc's fingers out of his wife when he started making comments about the 'broad setting of her hips', but Mercedes took his hand and calmed him with a gentle smile. She always knew how to calm him down.

The doctor's advice to them was to plan their sexual romps around Mercedes's ovulation cycle, when her body was most ready to conceive. When they got home, she immediately searched for everything she could find concerning the process. For days, words like 'HCG levels' and 'ripened ovaries' littered their everyday conversation. It was Sam who'd discovered the ovulation tests and offered to buy them, if only to remove the disconcertingly detailed menstruation calendars from their bedroom walls. Before they started trying again, Mercedes made him agree to cut out any drinking, as she'd read that it could possibly lower his sperm count. As long as the fertility conversations would end and they could still fuck like rabbits in heat, Sam was willing to agree to anything.

The biggest benefit of baby-making so far had been their growing connection as lovers. Since Mercedes could be prime to go at any time, they'd been almost inseparable, and their love-making went from wonderfully mind-blowing to something cataclysmic to the senses post-orgasm. Once, they'd done it so good that he was paralyzed from the neck down for a good ten minutes afterward. She'd gone into a post-coital coma twice in the past three weeks alone.

His phone buzzed again.

**I'm ovulating. Come meet me. I need you.**

Sam could imagine her desperation, hear the breathy whine of her voice as he read her words. His mouth grew drier, and the dull throbbing that'd started between his legs from their earlier foreplay had grown noticeable enough for him to reach down and adjust.

**Where? What bathroom? **He was already up and moving before she could answer, navigating through the narrow pathways between the patchwork crowd to get to the mansion.

**First floor straight ahead, down the hall to your right. **

Sam encountered three separate halls, all leading in different directions, but none of them directly ahead of him.

**Where? There's three hallways to choose from. **

He started heading down the one to his right, knocking on doors and opening them as he awaited her response. He'd gotten a good way down, deeper into the maze of the Fabray estate, before she'd answered him.

**The hall to your left, I believe. There's a blue vase in front of it. Hurry. I'm getting ready for you. **

Sam licked his lips and sprinted in the opposite direction, half-erect and eager to touch his wife. "Shit, what does that even mean?" In his mind, prep work involved Mercedes touching herself in some shape or form, and he did not intend on missing any of it. He made his way down the opposite hall, forgetting his manners as he barged through each door without a formal greeting or apology for intrusion. So far, he'd stumbled upon a bunch of empty bedrooms, three closets, two older women dressing, and Puck's brother Jake pressed against the wall with his hands between thighs of some heiress. That one he actually did apologize for. God bless everyone trying to get laid right now.

**I'm coming. Don't you dare finish getting ready without me, you hear? I want to watch you. **

**Then hurry. I'm so close baby. Please come and touch me.**

"Fuck..." Finally, after running for what felt like hours, Sam encountered a locked door near the end of the hall, with a bright pink light beaming through the small spaces in the doorframe. The lock tumblers clicked and the doorknob turned before he could even knock. A small brown fist twisted his bowtie around and yanked him inside.

Lust filled Mahogany eyes met elated green for the briefest of seconds before Mercedes exhaled into a relieved smile and whispered, "_Finally_." She wrapped his arms around her waist, then leaned up on her toes to kiss him, her right hand cupping his cheek. Sam's shoulders sagged as the earlier tension of finding her left his body, melting away as she parted her lips and beckoned his tongue with firm, slow flicks to his bottom lip. His embrace around her waist tightened, and the small echoing of voices down the hall reminded him to kick the door shut behind them.

She moaned when he gently pressed the small of her back, goading her to step closer and mold her body to his. It was only when the space between them disappeared that Sam felt the rhythmic stirring of her left hand below her skirt. He growled at the feeling of Mercedes touching herself and finally parted his lips for her, thrusting his tongue inside her mouth, deep and sloppy like she liked it. Large, clawing hands gripped her ass and held her steady as he ground his hips into hers. She could feel him lengthening and swelling against her flexing knuckles, and their mouths parted with a wet smack as Sam licked swirling patterns down her sensitive neck. When he slid a knee between her clenched thighs and settled between them, continuing his slow grind as she rubbed her clit in faster circles, her knees began to quake around him.

"I'm gonna come. Baby, I'm gonna _come_." She cried in warning, panting heavily in his ear. Sam responded with a hard lick to her pulsing carotid, then hoisted her up on the bathroom sink, looped an arm underneath one of her knees to lift her leg higher, and powered into her. It was a desperate and savage fuck atop clothes, rattling the marble surface below her ass and breaking the magnetic clasp of the medicine cabinet door. The glass swung freely, colliding with the wall in the same rhythmic fashion as the two lovers in the room.

"Fuck that pussy with your fingers, Mercy. Fuck it like it's my cock inside you. Stretch it out for me." He growled, nibbling her earlobe as he slid her dress up and over the curve of her backside. She cried out and sped up the thrust of her fingers when he gave her exposed cheek three stinging smacks. "How many can you fit for me? Two? Three in that tight little hole? Tell me, sweetness."

"Two." The answer came out in a delighted groan, and Sam knew he had to taste her. He ceased his thrusts and turned her chin to him, slipping his hand between their bodies to cup her sex. Mercedes met his eyes in challenge as she continued to pound her wetness with her middle and index finger. He smirked at her boldness, the daring glint in her eye that transformed his gentle hearted, soft-voiced love into an insatiably wanton gutter mouth. His only job was to coax it out of her.

"Two what?" Sam squeezed her knuckle and curled her fingers in, slowly drawing them out of her body. With a wink, he brought the dripping digits to his mouth and made of show of laving every sticky inch with the breadth of his tongue.

Her eyelids drooped as he tasted her, growing heavy as her desire intensified. "Two f-fingers." She replied, voice quivering as she stuttered. "I can only fit two."

Sam smiled and pressed soft kisses to her wrist, circling around to cross her knuckles and return to suckling her essence soaked fingers. "Fit them where, baby? Tell me everything. I want to hear you say it."

She tilted her chin up on a soft exhale, until their breaths mingled and wafted across her dry lips. Her tongue poked out to wet them, and Sam's answering groan fueled the fire building in her core.

"I can only fit two fingers in my tight little pussy, Sam." She purred, brushing her nose across his, teasing him with the proximity of a kiss without closing the distance. "Can you fit more? Stretch me and get me ready for you?"

He pressed one last kiss to the hand in his grasp before tossing it over his shoulder. She brought her other hand over the opposite shoulder and interlaced her fingers behind his neck, toying with the curled hairs at his nape. He leaned in and dragged her plump bottom lip between his teeth.

"That depends..." He growled between teeth, still full of her flesh. He gave her pout a gentle bite, then licked and kissed the teeth marks left behind to soothe the pain. "..on how wet we can get you, doesn't it?"

Mercedes hummed a needy hum and nodded, eagerly kissing him once more. Her sharp nails dug into his vertebrae, leaving bright red half-moons in his pale flesh, but Sam couldn't care less. He slid his palm along her curves until they led him to her fragrant heat, and with a turn of his wrist and a shifting of her underwear, three of his fingers were knuckle deep inside her. Mercedes broke the kiss to throw her head back, muttering expletives under her breath as she bucked her hips.

"There you go. Get yourself off, baby." encouraged Sam, nipping her exposed throat. He curled his fingers inside of her and pressed his palm to her clit, guiding his motions in time with hers. "Get that pussy soaking wet so I can stuff you with my cock and explode inside you. Is that what you want? You want my cum in that pretty cunt so you can have my baby?"

"Yes! Yes Sam, I want you!" screamed Mercedes. She was so full, so overwhelmed with him inside and around her. Just the scent of him made her clench hard, pulling him deeper. "I want your cock, baby. _Please_." The force of her orgasm made her collapse into herself, knees knocking together and back bowed as her essence flooded Sam's hand and ran down her inner thighs. "_Please,_ Sam." Her voice caught on the plea as she rode the waves of pleasure. Sam's efforts left her senses heightened; to the point where even his slowing thrusts were too much too take. She was too sensitive now, too engorged and overheated to take anymore. Mercedes shuddered as she pulled his hand away, struggling to catch her breath. He kissed her sweat-drenched forehead and held her limp body up as she recovered, whispering loving, erotic declarations across her skin until she gathered her bearings.

After a few moments, she looked up and smiled at him, kissing his cheeks, nose and mouth in silent thanks. The radiance of her grin lit up her entire being.

"I love you." She cooed, kissing the small dimple in his chin. Sam closed his eyes and reveled in her attention. When he opened them again, her eyes held far more mischief, proven by her wandering hands massaging his crotch. "Now bend me over and fuck me, Sammy. I'm soaked for you."

Sam smirked and kissed her neck before turning her around, pressing his front to her back. Her dress was still hiked up around her waist, exposing the scrap of drenched lace passing as underwear. Sam pinched the crotch and dragged the thong slowly down her legs, fingering her bare sex with his free hand until they fell to the floor. Mercedes kicked them away and spread her legs further apart.

"Mmm...feels good." she moaned, leaning over the sink and arching her back. "Fuck me just like that."

"The doors unlocked, you know." He conspiratorially whispered, a lopsided grin curling his full lips. "Left it that way, just for you. I know you like when people can walk in on us." His wife moaned louder and brushed her ass against his erection. Sam twisted and curled his fingers, rubbing that soft, spongy place inside her that made her eyes roll back. As soon as he started, Sam peeked over and caught the white of her pupils. "What will turn you on more, baby...if Quinn walks in or Puck?"

"Oh, fuck!" Mercedes bounced her ass even faster. Sam wrapped an arm around her waist and pulled her up, adding another finger as he held her steady to fuck her. Mercedes rolled her lips in and grunted in her throat with each thrust, reaching back to unbutton and unzip Sam's trousers. "God, yes. Please take me."

"Maybe Quinn's stuffy ass mother can come in, too? You want all of them to watch me take you, bent over with your pussy drooling like the little cum-slut you are?" Sam cupped her breast and rolled her protruding nipple between his pinched fingers as she eagerly nodded. "Say it for me, baby. Say you want to be my little cum-slut right now. Tell me how much you want me deep inside you." He paused and grinned, kissing her shoulder and adding, "Tell me you want to have my baby."

"Fuck, I want your baby, Sam." Mercedes yanked each lip of her V-necked dress below her breasts, then the cups of her bra, until she was exposed and free to toy with her untouched nipple. The hand resting over Sam's erection freed the turgid flesh just as eagerly, stroking the throbbing member in earnest. "I want everyone to watch when you cum in my pussy. Please, I want it."

Sam groaned in his throat as he pressed his mushroomed tip into her velvet slickness. Taking a moment to adjust, he slowly began to move, inch by agonizing inch until he was fully seated inside of her. Mercedes eased herself back down on her stomach, gripping the sides of the sink for balance as he began to thrust.

"God, you're so fucking beautiful and tight." Sam complimented through gritted teeth. "That pretty smile and nasty mouth."

"Your little cum-slut." She grinned proudly at the title as her body took the brunt of his force. "I like that. Cum in your little cum-slut's pussy, Sam. Cum in me and let me have your child."

"Oh _fuck._" Sam kissed down up her spine, resting his forehead between her shoulder blades as he panted and slammed into her. "Have my baby, Mercy. Take all my fucking cock, baby. Take it all in."

He brushed her hair—arranged in an abundance of loose curls for the occasion—away from her back and over her far shoulder, kissing the revealed brown skin underneath. When she begged for more kisses in between heaving breaths, he leaned in further and obliged her, using up the last bit of precious oxygen between them to make love to her lips. Mercedes reached back to cup his behind as they kissed, pulling him in until he pushed against her cervix. Sam gave an open mouthed whimper against her parted lips and thrust faster.

A minor crashing sound just outside the door halted their movements. A small shuffling of feet followed soon after, leading away from the door. Sam glanced down at his wide-eyed love, trying to determine whether it was fear or merely surprise that read in her eyes. The way she pushed against his abdomen and shrunk away suggested fear.

"Babe..." Honestly, he didn't know quite what to say. Sorry for trying to impregnate you in a stranger's bathroom? Mercedes was the one who'd texted him and suggested they make love. Sorry for almost getting caught? He wasn't sorry at all. The only thing hotter than making Mercedes scream his name and beg for his cock was having someone else witness the greatness. The only thing Sam felt truly sorry about at the moment was the fact that his wife felt embarrassed enough to stop.

"It's not that. I don't care about that." Mercedes insisted with a certain shake of her head, reading his mind as she always did. "I just realized that I want to see you."

"What?" When she sat him on the closed toilet seat and straddled his lap, divesting herself of her dress completely, Sam finally understood. "Oh..._oh._" He shed his tuxedo jacket and unbuttoned his shirt to fully expose his chest, excited to be naked as well. "Hell yes. I'm down for this."

Mercedes chuckled at his enthusiasm. "I thought you might be." With a crook of her brow, she reached for his hardness and put him in position, gently lowering until he was seated fully inside her once more. Sam gripped her hips as she began to bounce, kneading the abundance of sweaty skin jiggling about. Her breasts—dangling enticingly like ripened fruit on a vine; large, dark nipples pointed toward his mouth, begging to be pinched and nibbled—overflowed in her small, greedy fingers. She twisted them the way Sam would've if his hands were free, quickly, then a slow roll between fingers until her areolas wrinkled and goose bumps rose all over her chest.

As pretty as the sight was, her face stole his attention. The tiny crinkles in her nose and the way she kneaded the corner of her lip between her teeth when she got the angle just right on his cock. The cascade of hair over her face, untamed and frizzing into tendrils of her tighter, natural texture as it rebelled against the sweat pouring from her hairline. Her eyes, so intensely focused on him and the reactions that testified to her riding skills. The desire he found there, brazen and unashamed, for his body. The want rooted in love, not just for the connection that flesh wrapping around flesh brings, but for the life it could create. She wanted life with him, anytime and in any way she could get it, because she loved him that much.

"Come here." He released his grip on her hips to cup her face and bring her forward. She smiled when he kissed her nose, then her forehead, and whispered, "You're everything, Mercedes." Arms wrapped around broad shoulders and an undulating waist, holding tight as she rocked faster.

And that was how they came, chest to chest and thrumming heart to thrumming heart, shuddering and pulsating until Sam's milky white semen mingled with her clearer ejaculate and pooled in his lap. After they collected their breaths, Mercedes smiled and pressed soft kisses along his jaw, flexing her knees to test their strength before standing. Sam collapsed backward and threw an arm over his eyes, peeking underneath his forearm to watch her sit across from him.

"Damn." Sam commented, blowing out a slow breath. "I'm no doctor but I think that one took."

"Yeah?" Mercedes's tone was still all seduction and purr as she spread her legs. "Does it look like it took?"

Brown fingers parted even darker brown folds, exposing her pink clit and clenching center. With a gentle push, a thick pouring of his seed dripped down to the exposed sphincter of her anus, pooling on the marble countertop.

"Oh _wow_, baby. Mercy, just..._wow._"

"Wow, huh? Is it pretty, Sam?" she teased, playing coy as she scooped up the excess on her finger and eased it back inside her. Mercedes moaned at her own gentle intrusion. "Mmm...I'm so full, Sam. Tell me how pretty my pussy is when I'm full of you."

Sam fell to his knees before her, kissing up and down her inner thighs before he came face to face with her sex. He set her hand aside and looked up at her as he pressed two of his own fingers in, coaxing the remnants of him back into her with shallow thrusts.

"So. Unbelievably. Pretty." He softly exclaimed, punctuating each word with a slow lick across her clit. "I really hope this works, because I can't wait to see your swollen belly."

Her smile, always radiant, grew as the idea settled in her mind. She raked her fingers through his hair, smoothing away the tendrils sticking to his damp forehead. "I can't wait to feel that first kick."

Sam's eyes lit up as he stood and pressed his hand to her belly. "Wow. That'll be the best thing ever." Unable to resist, he tapped her nose. "But until then, feel free to call me whenever you need another bathroom booty call. Next time, we don't stop until someone barges in 'cause we took too long and they have to pee."

Mercedes snorted and collapsed into his chest, shaking with laughter. He joined her, hugging her shoulders, as the ridiculousness of their situation fully sunk in.

**O-O**

Minutes later, when they were dressed and presentable again, the couple tried to sneak back into the party fold. Luckily, they returned just as a drunken Puck stole all the attention on the gazebo. Mike in hand, he insisted on making a speech to their party guests, despite Mrs. Fabray's vehement insistence that it wasn't necessary. Quinn, who'd hardly discouraged his efforts, giggled beneath her hand as her mother and fiancé struggled for dominance. Jake was still M.I.A, as was the young heiress Sam had spotted him with earlier.

"I'd like to toast a toast to my _spec-TAC-ular _family in laws to be," Puck began, gaining the upper hand with a swift elbow to the older woman's ribs. Puck spotted Sam and Mercedes in the crowd and greeted them with a floppy wave. "Hey, and to my main man Sam! And my cu-tay with the boo-tay, Mercedes!"

"Oh god. He's so gone." Mercedes groaned, covering her eyes.

"Hey Sammykins, a lil'...lil' wish from me to you, 'kay?" Sam slowly nodded, unsure of how to respond to a drunken person's attentions in such a formal setting. If this were his drunken uncle Bucky, he and his cousins would wrestle him down into a headlock and dunk him in a barrel of cold water. Something told him that this scenario wouldn't welcome that kind of response, so he just stood back and watched, content to let shit hit the fan on its own.

"Okay," Puck cleared his throat and straightened up, swaying a bit on his feet. "May you and Mercy be happy and healthy in your marriage, like me and Quinn are gonna be. You two..." the normally non-emotive man began to tear up, clearing his throat with a balled fist to his mouth, "You two are seriously soulmates and I am just so, so happy for you and your 'tire lives together. Viva Sam and Mercedes!"

"That was very sweet, Puckerman. Thank you for sharing." Mrs. Fabray tried to sweep in and snatch the mike away, but a second elbow to her bruised ribs doubled her over.

"Hey, did you know these two were tryna have a baby? Isn't that great? Round of applause for the BAYBEHS!" The crowd gave an awkward applause while the couple blushed in their small corner. "Don't worry, God is gonna get that oven filled with buns in no time. Buns with fat ass lips and terrible dance moves...just everything you can hope for. Amen."

"That is quite enough, young man." Mr. Fabray insisted, inching away as soon as he realized he was in elbow-shot of his son-in-law. "Quinnie? Can't you stop this?"

"Oh no, daddy. _This _is the most fun I've had all evening." Quinn insisted, downing a flute of champagne in one shot.

Mr. Fabray huffed like a small child and hiked up the waist of his pants. "Fine. _I'll _take care of this, then."

Puck, blissfully glassy-eyed and unaware, continued talking. "And I mean, it's not like you guys don't have sex. These people have _a lot _of sex guys. A-LOT." He exclaimed, emphasizing the sound of his T. "I mean, I was just in the back earlier today looking for my missing cufflink, and _who _do you think I heard fucking up a storm in the bathroom? Why, these two horny jackrabbits right here! I mean, they were just moaning and destroying shit..."

"That is enough!" Mr. Fabray physically separated the man from the microphone, holding them on opposites sides of himself, but Puck leapt on his back and grabbed his hand, continuing to speak as Mr. Fabray held the mike in his fist.

"I mean, what the hell is your secret, dude? Ginseng? Incense? Red bull and Pixie Sticks? I mean, how the hell do you do it freaky like that after three years? And Mercy, damn! Could you give Quinn some dirty talk lessons? Cause if she said that stuff when we fucked, I would nut SO ha—"

"You're done, Puckerman!" exclaimed Quinn, amidst the scandalous gasps from the crowd. Quinn, red-faced and huffing, was scandalized for an entirely different reason. She yanked her fiancé off of her father and turned off the mike before yanking his ear down to mouth level. "When we get inside, you're sleeping on the couch." After a moment of pause, she added, more quietly, "After you tell me the things that Mercedes said..."

The couple in question was ignored once more, subjected to only passing glances and the occasional disapproving murmur as the crowd dispersed. The excitement left with the bride-to-be when she dragged Puck off the stage, followed by her mortified and injured parents.

"So," Mercedes began, checking the time on her phone after a beat of awkward silence. "I vote that we end this night early, go home, and work on round two?"

Sam tossed his glass flute over his head and guided her by the shoulders toward their parked car. "Thank _God_, I thought you'd never ask."

**O-O**

Two months later, after Quinn and Puck said their I do's on the very same estate, Mercedes pulled Sam aside and revealed the positive pregnancy test she'd taken before they'd left home. She explained that it felt only fitting to reveal the news in the same place that their child was probably conceived.

Sam greeted the news with elated tears and excited hoots, then lifted her in his arms to carry her to the 'bathroom of conception' on the far end of the right hallway. He explained that it was only fitting to celebrate such good news by christening the place a second time.

Mercedes nodded with a naughty smirk, leaning in to whisper hot, dirty things in his ear as he carried her. And the more she said, the faster Sam's legs went, until her amused laughter mingled with the clopping of formal shoes on tile, both disappearing behind the slam of the bathroom door.

**O-O**


End file.
